Not Asking For What You Want Could Be Ruining Your Marriage
Posted: Thursday, October 01, 2009
by Brent Parker
The Herbal Remedies Store
Open up and ask for whatever it is you want. People can't read minds and even though we feel like our partners should know us and anticipate our needs and wants, more times than not, it just doesn't work that way.
Most of us were raised to not be pushy and keep a lot of our wants to ourselves. Manners mattered. But have you ever noticed at the office or while standing in line somewhere that the person who speaks up and just comes right out and asks for something often times gets whatever it is they've asked for? What's the worst thing that can happen? They can say no. That's pretty much the worst case scenario and many people still seem to fear hearing the no and feeling some sense of rejection. It's time to get past that. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and if you walk through life waiting for others to mystically anticipate your needs and then attempt to meet them I'm afraid they are not going to be met very often.
Be prepared to negotiate with your partner. "Honey, please take out the trash" is not nearly as effective as "Honey, if you'll take out the trash, I'll start a load of laundry or open the door for you or load the dishwasher". Once you are in a relationship, it is important that the needs of both parties are met and that both people feel like they are contributing equally. The art of give and take can go a long ways.
In conclusion, the important take away here is that while the term "effective communication" seems to get thrown around a lot, the one main word in the cliché phrase is the word "communication", it all starts there by opening yourself up and letting your partner know how you feel, what you want and you're ability to work harder at trying to find out how they feel and what it is that they want and then working together so that both parties feel loved, appreciated and understood.
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